Category: Let's talk
Well the subject says it all really, but my question is this, how loyal a person are you. If someone puts down one of your friends, or says something about them that is perhaps not what you wanted to hear about them, will you defend them at all costs? Do you stand by your friends no matter what? Or do you think that there are limits as to how far your loyalty goes. If a friend was found guilty of a serious offence, would you break off that friendship? Or would you believe in them unconditionally as long as they were honest with you. Do you have friends who have stood by you through things you would never have expected? And d you feel you could do the same?
i'm not really sure that that is something that i could give a generalised answer too though! i can see situations where friends really go too far and yet other times when, while others may view there actions as being wrong i could see there side of it! i guess all i can say to that question is, i'd have to base my decision on the facts as i saw them at the time!
sorry if that answers too general! its the best i could do though!
I will certainly deffend them. That is natural for me. If they are friends, I deffend them. Because I know: If I get offended, they might deffend me as well. Friendship is giving and taking, and I would certainly deffend them.
Hmm, hard question. I know I would never give a friend away unless they had committed a serious crime and I felt they were a threat to sociiety in any way (fortunately this has never happened). E.g. if I had a close friend who was getting srously into drugs and hiding it I think I would eventually give him/her away only because I care about that friend very much and would want the best for that person and hiding their drug addiction is not condusive to a long t4rm friendship seeing as drugs change and can possibly kill people. If a friend did something that I found morally wrong I'd probably sit down and talk to them about it but I'd never give them away or get involved in their personal lives too much. The definition of a friend is really someone who does not pass judgement on you and stands by you at all possible costs (I consider limits though as stated above). Apart from that there are not many things I see myself not doing for a friend if I feel my friend needs them. I've been there for them and they've been there for me throughout a lot of good and bad things and if I get to enjoy mine and others success with my friends those happy times and achievements become infinitely more meaningful to me than if I had celebrated alone.
cheers
-B
No questions asked I have and will always defend my friends even at the risk of my own safety .
yes you should stand by your friends, but I don't think that you should stand by them no matter what. By all means, if your friend does something you don't agree with, or that doesn't hold to your own values and ethics, then tell them. DOn't tell them with the intention of bringing them round to your way of thinking, but tell them how you see it. a friend isn't only there for you to give you love support, and encouragement when your feeling down. they are also ment to be the only ones who will tell you the truth when it comes to the crunch. In my view, it's often harder to tell a friend where you think they are possibeley going wrong, than to just let it go and stand by them inspite of their actions. If you can't be honest with your friends about how their actions are effecting the people /cercomstances around them, then your friendship isn't made of the strong stuff you believed it to be.
Your right Puggle only your friends will tell you...
That#s true. I agree with Goblin about that. You should always stand by your friends and deffend them.
I'm inclined to agree with Goblin in the snese that I will always stand by my friends, especially the ones who have defended me myself through thick and thin, and no matter what. In fact, I've got such a true friend now, who has defended through thick in thin, and I have him as well.
I totally agree with Puggle. If your friends cant' tell you how it is, what kind of friendship do you have? I always try and be there for anyone if and when they need me. I find it really hard to walk away from people, even if I know that staying does more harm than good. I need to become a bit more selfish I think, but it's easier said than done. I always want to believe the best in people, but if they're not straight with me, there's only so long that can last.
Exactly, Puggle and Sugar!!! I believe that friends are there to give support and advice as well as tell you if you're right or wrong!!! If I was going to do something that my friends didn't approve of, I would like it if they told me because I would do the same for them. I have defended friends in the past when people were talking about them behind their backs. But if I found out that my friend was screwing their dog or doing something horrible like that, I would not stand by him/her at all. So it's really hard for me to just generalize like that. There are things I will and will not do for friends!!!
*sexy*
Its only when your back is against a very uncomfortable wall that you find out who your true friends are...
I agree with those that said it depends. I would not defend or agree with my friends unconditionally, such as if they wanted me to do something that was against what I felt was right or against the law to where I knew I'd have a big chance of getting in trouble. However, if they were in trouble and needed me to talk to, or if I could help them and I could do it legally or at least knowing it was for a very good reason, I would be there to help. Usually, my friends only have looked to me to talk to and one had wanted to move in with us for the reason that she and her mom weren't getting along (not to run away, but just to stay until the both of them calmed down, and then she intended to go back home.) So that sort of thing I wouldn't mind, but if she were to want to run away just because she hated her mom for not letting her get her way on something small), then I wouldn't want her to move in for that reason. The same thing with a friend who needed JAWS for school. I did lend her it to put on her computer when she was living with her mom because I knew and trusted her family and wasn't sure if her parents could or would get it for her. But when she asked for it when she got married, I wouldn't lend it to her because I didn't know and trust her husband for my certain reasons if something were to happen to the JAWS. So yeah, for me it really depends on what I feel is right and my friends' intentions on when they need help.
Leilani
I let a couple of friends stay at my place because they got kicked out of their house and it had tragic results. They just depended on me too much and never looked at another place to stay even though they knew that I couldn't have guests over for more than 21 days. I got them an air mattress to sleep on and they popped it. They broke one of my new drinking glasses (which were a sentimental gift that I cherished) from my sister-in-law, and to top it off, the guy, my friend's boyfriend who was staying with me and her, cursed at me and said that I was just trying to break them up when I asked them very politely to not argue at the store we were at. Well, to cut a long story short, I asked them to get out of the house while I went to school and come back when I came back. I live in public housing and I didn't want anything to go wrong while they were there unsupervised. So, we all agreed on this. When I got back from my first day of classes, they informed me that they wouldn't go out anymore because they had no money and only had $50 for emergency money. I was not happy. I felt like that was our agreement and they were taking advantage of me. I was already in danger of losing my housing, which my fiancé and I worked really hard to get. So I felt that enough was enough. I had to ask them to leave. The next day, I informed them of their 24 hour notice and it wasn't pretty. I was called a bunch of disgusting things bye both her and him. When I swung a punch at her, hehehehehe I know, I know, I shouldn’t have done that, her boyfriend, who is a very big guy, grabbed me and swung me against the wall. That was the end of everything. Even our friendship. On top of all that had happened between my family and I, this had to happen. All of which was before and during my first year of college. So this is why, I have learned to be hesitant when friends ask me for things. I would really have to know and trust them before I ever let another stay in my apartment.
*sexy*
I was in this situation in my freshmen year. Some friends broke my trust and I was still friends with them till now. I guess I’m just a forgiving person. But as far as loyalty goes If I’ve known him/her for years and I know that he/she is not that type of person that would do anything like that then I would likely to believe him/her but if I see some things that are suspicious then I will not make my judgments first. By the way I hate judging people. It makes me feel bad. But loyalty well, I know myself very well. I can be loyal to someone. I have lots of friends and I keep lots of secrets which I don’t intend of revealing. Yes, I give value to friendship. So I hate losing one.
If someone expresses opinions about my friends which I don't like, that doesn't mean I won't listen to what they have to say. They may have reasons for their opinions. I may not agree with their opinions but they are still worth listening to so I know what that person thinks. Anyway, if you want someone to feel able to talk to you about anything, you don't fall out with them when they say something you don't like because otherwise they won't feel like they can talk to you. If my fruiends also have a fall out, I'd like to hear both sides before decidingf what I think and I won't do that by falling out with people who say things I disagree with. Just because I tollerate opinions about my friends which I don't like doesn't mean I am a disloyal person. I'd defend my friends in everhy way necessary if they needed me to as long as they were right. I don't have an attitude whereby my friends can't be wrong and if they are I@ll still support them.